Happyblox

Mr. Rogers!!!!

Via Glumbert.com, this little gem.

glumbert - The Dirty Mr. Rogers

Hippity, Hoppity, Gravity.

Do yourself a favor and watch this 12 second video. I laughed for about 20 minutes. Am I going to hell or what?

Here Comes Peter Cottontail - Watch more free videos

OBEY.

MWA

I have said it before, rap is not what it used to be. As cliché' as the statement may be it is true. In my humble very suburban opinion rap has declined in almost every worthwhile category. On second thought my opinion is far from humble. I hate being extra careful when speaking about things just because certain groups of people are super sensitive so you know what? In my, although yes, suburban, highly educated, versed and well practiced hip-hop opinion.... I may not be a rap expert but I do have more than a few hip-hop Happybox specific parts of my life that remain important to this day, to me anyway. First rap song I ever heard was Roxane Roxane by U.T.F.O. on the radio. I recorded it onto a cassette tape and played it on a boom box until the tape was so worn it sounded like I lost all mids. I don't remember how old I was but let's put it this way... it was an all boys summer camp and I didn't mind, so must have been quite young. Through the years I watched hip-hop grow from a baby of a movement into what it is and could be today. I wrote rhymes and messed around on the wheels of steel a bit in school and even opened for DJ Sam in New York one night. To this day he lies to my face and says I sounded tight. God bless his civil disobedient ass.
Before I get onto a rant about how street I am my whole point was seeing the below video and laughing my tuchas off. Then I was remembering how many rap artists used to have fun on the mic and how little you hear of that anymore. Even N.W.A. the hardest gangster rap of the day threw in snide jokes and sarcastic humor into thier joints. Know what I'm saying? I think EZ would approve of this, I really do.

glumbert - Muppets with Attitude

Oh Yeah! A Macho Man Could Save T.V.

Why don't we have characters on television like The Macho Man Randy Savage anymore? Everything these days is a character from a book or a movie or a comic or it's based on a cliche. What happened to the characters that created cliches? The last one may have been Seinfeld and that's sad. The Macho Man was as much of a character as one could be. Real, fake, even at 12 year old I didn't care. Honestly, I still don't. I was always into the characters. If there were one character on television today like Mr. Savage maybe I wouldn't keep falling asleep on the couch and waking up to Antiques Roadshow. From his humble beginnings to his famous interviews and rantings you simply can't deny the power of this guy. Arsenio Hall Couldn't as he tortured Morgan Fairchild on his couch. He is like an intentional train wreck that your allowed, no encouraged to stare at. When you really think about it he is fast on his feet as far as improvisation and being generally intelligible. Maybe if I get less lazy I will try and see what he is up to today. If his organs didn't reject all them roids. Thank you Macho Man for making me ponder fondly a time less complicated and far more colorful. I dare you not to love him watching this!

People Are Strange. So Let's Ski The Woods.

Some things you just can't pass up. As some of you know I recently developed the underdog site for Classic Media. I had a lot of material to sort through but I never found anything like this video. (same as below)

This is a woman named Suzanne Muldowney and she portrays Underdog through dance. That is right. Portrays.... Underdog..... through dance. I don't know who is sadder, the announcer "here is Underdog the way it should be done!" or this Suzanne knob "This dance doesn't show I am on a rescue mission, it is just an exhibition number", suggesting that there are scenarios she dances out in other "arrangements". Needless to say she can not dance and has borderline painful social issues. Is it me or does this video remind you of this scene from The Big Lebowski? God people are strange.

This Past weekend me and a few friends were up at Killington in Vermont and it snowed 16 to 18 inches in 3 days. We were on and in sections we never rode before. Killington busts out new glades every year. Of course they have always been there it is just a matter them marking it, which they have been doing, or finding it which we have been doing. Devils fiddle was open, an out west type trail with open rock faces and tight dangerous woods on Bear mountain. Most of the below video was shot there and in Anarchy glades which are located off Great Eastern just after the split to Launch Pad. Duck on in there, it's gated but even if the gate is closed you can head to the right and end up near Julio.

Frozen in Grand Central Station.

What do you get when you have 200 or so willing participants and an urge to freak everyone out? aside from a lame segway? You have this video. Why am I never around when this stuff is going down. Scary thing I might not notice. The people In Manhattan that I see frozen are usually one or two at a time and they are on smack. I dig this video and this type of thing in general. Makes life interesting.

Mr. Mom I Am Not.

This weekend My girlfriend and I had the dubious duty of watching Shawn and Alexandra, her 1 and 2 year old brother and sister. I never babysat for more than a few hours and that was back when Duran Duran wore really cool clothing. So the plan was to head to the house Friday after work, give grandma and grandpa a break and stay with the little ones Friday night, Saturday night and Sunday. To be honest I expected things like this and this but remarkably my fathering skills were a bit more up to par than I anticipated. Okay maybe not fathering skills but keeping kids moderately happy and away from bodily harm skills. Friday night was pretty easy as all we had to do was heat up some food their mother has precooked, play a little then put them to bed. They went remarkably easy probably due to all the excitement of different people over. Here is something I would never have guessed happens to parents; I am aware they get no sleep but I was under the impression that it was due to the kids waking up and freaking out but it's not. It due to listening and awaiting that freak out which usually never comes at least with these two. Every whimper, every sound of a blanket being moved is payed attention to no matter how tired you are. I almost question the validity of baby monitors. Yes you can hear everything but you can also hear everything and a couple more days of that kind of half sleeping half listening I would be so tired the house could be burning down and I would just lay there dreaming of campfires and roasting marsh mellows.

Like a clock at 7:00 AM Shawn awoke but not crying more like talking to something in his crib. Of course he can only say a few real words so it sounds like a very small version of Charlie Brown's teachers voice. You open the door and he is sitting upright just chillin'. When you say good morning he smiles and reaches for you to pick him up. It is very cute and even an old heavy metal dude can't deny that. Alexandra on the other had is much more of a drama queen. Everything with her is hot or cold. It made me jealous in a way the way she lived. She always knew exactly what she wanted and how she wanted it done. If she couldn't do it herself she will get someone to do it for her. It must be great to just know everything again. Not to question yourself ever. She is also somewhat of a genius so she can be both extremely cute on one hand and completely manipulative on the other. Needless to say by the end of the weekend I can honestly say that she is one of the most interesting people I have ever met and I look forward to seeing how she grows up. I bet she takes over something. Maybe a country. I hope she remembers that I let her stay up 20 minutes late.

To make an incredibly long weekend story short, aside from some cranky pants moments and some absolute dissatisfaction with the current bed time arrangements, the time had was positive and enjoyable. Ironically I still don't know what kind of father I would be but I found myself to be a kick ass baby sitter. I can tell you something for certain, my girlfriend would be a fantastic mommy. She has just the right mix of affection and guidance. I envy her composure at times that made me want to get up, walk out the door, get in the car, drive to Canada, get out of the car, scream, you get the idea. So the moral of the story is this: Kids are tiny people, cherish your sleep and remember that you have to eat too.

Sausage, Jesus & Chuck Norris.

After several attempts over the years to complain to companies I have learned that they don't care. Which is fine because most of the time I don't care about them either. Some people still think this is the 50's however. As if you could pull into a gas station and be swarmed by men in white paper hats going through the checklist of good automotive maintenance. One checking the oil, one the tire pressure, another pumping your gas while another cleans your windows. The last gas station I was at sold me new wipers. A sweaty oily man proceeded to toss the new pack of wipers into my passenger seat. Now that's service. Here is a video of why they don't care.

Speaking of things I don't care about, here is an interesting bit on Chuck Norris. You know, the martial artist who became so cheesy that even he isn't sure who he is anymore? Well he and his trophy wife (if your a Nazi) have a video describing how they think we should have more Jesus in schools. As if the kids these days don't have enough lies coming at them. Chuck says... "Our forefathers founded this country on biblical principals..." like the separation of church and state? Asshole? I have no problem with peoples opinions or beliefs as long as they don't force me in any way. Teaching god in school is just that, forcing one point of view. I don't understand why they can't see that. It's not like I am promoting forcing an agnostic viewpoint, just a choice. They are probably afraid of what people will choose if given all the options. Look around people. We don't need more religion in schools, we need more facts in schools. We need more teachers in schools and we need more money in schools. Pass the freaking plate that way.

Went for The News But Stayed For The Masterbation.

According to this CNN video report, this Glendale Arizona man had over 30 movies online of his masturbating in public. He calls himself "Baseball Playah" and he is not someone you want to bump into while trying on slacks. Do you suppose it's the thrill of punching the clown in public, or is it even sicker than that? Could he be turned on by folded and stacked denim? Does the though of socks connected by thin pieces of plastic somehow arouse him? Who can tell. Funny (but not really) that this is even on the news. Not that if a war wasn't going on it would be left out but I guess that just makes it more apparent.

Speaking of total and complete bullshit in the news, this story was also on the front page of cnn.com. A boy in Cambodia who has a huge snake that "let's" him ride on it. Personally I think it's a snake that is too fat to want to eat him or get away. Don't get me wrong, I want to see stuff like this, and this but not on a news site. Never on a news site. This is also the first time in a long time that Brittney Spears has not appeared on a headline. I guess I should be thankful for small miracles. (the rant continues) I'm sorry, were you guys running out of stories? How about...... oh I don't know, let's see.... Iraq, Afghanistan, Bush's foreign policy is going to get Americans killed, people with great power in America are promoting religious interests, kind of the opposite of what the rules say, power is too expensive and dirty, corporations are corrupt and growing, were starting to plan for a mars trip and a moon trip, JESUS there's enough to talk about without telling me about Joe Bob Henry Smith in Nevada who collects Nerf balls. (oh yeah, whats the name of that guy you were hunting for a while there? Osama something?)